Ashes of catastrophe.

I don’t matter to the world
To the world I’m just a body of atoms
Eyes don’t see my bleeding eyes
They just see a cold heart with no emotions
People spit hurtful verbal bullets
like their mouth is a gun
And the bullets leave voids
and I got nowhere to run
Crashing into asteroids
Burning into the sun
What is moon hiding behind it’s dark side?
That’s an unsolved mystery
Should we fear death if our soul has already died?
I laugh at my own misery
From a happy kid to a broken person
I’m high on pain, forever drunken
Head underwater, forever sunken
Tell me do you know
Tell me do you know
Where do all the lost souls go?
Where do the unshed tears flow?
Where does happiness grow?
I feel like I’m stuck inside a kaleidoscope
I see my heart in broken shards of coloured glass
Lost in the illusion that suffering can
end up creating a thing of beauty
But life’s not as hopeful as shown in movies
Fire only gives rise to fire
Tragic stories end up in tragedy
And all that remains in the end
is ashes of catastrophe.

Pretty little boy.

Last time you were happy
You were playing with toys
Oh, pretty little boy
What changed?
What made you like this?
You use to smile all the time
Your world use to shine
Now your sky is all dark and gray
But you smile and pretend everything’s okay
Oh, pretty little boy
What changed?
What made you like this?
Now you’re just searching for escape
You’re trapped inside a cage
What happened to your wings?
Did the world cut them off?
Why does your heart no longer laugh?
Oh, my pretty little boy
What changed?
What made you like this?
Like petals of a decayed flower,
I see you fall
You were so full of life,
now you want to end it all
Oh, my pretty little boy
I wish I could help
But I’m just a voice inside your head
I hope you save yourself
Pretty little boy
I hope you save yourself.

I never wanted to lose you.

This heartache is killing me
My pain is chronic
I need a painkiller
With your name on it
I never see your around
But you’re always on my mind
Your memories surround me now
Taking me back to the world I left behind
I don’t know what I’m gonna find there
All I know is I’m not fine here
I gotta numb this pain
You’ll never find me sober
It all happened so fast
I wasn’t ready for us to be over
I still need you, I’m still a lover
Until you’re with me, I’ll always be a loner
Please tell me that you miss me
Please tell me that you’re standing
outside my door to kiss me
I wish I could go back to the past
And change everything that went wrong
I wish I could hold you in my arms again
And dance with you on our favourite song
You’ll always be my wish
Everytime I see a shooting star
You’ll always be in my heart
Even when you’ve walked too far
I still glance at the empty seat beside me
while taking lonely rides in my car
Don’t know where I’m going
Without you I’m so lost
Days burning in the fire
Night freezing in the frost
I smile and cry just remembering
How beautifully our paths were crossed
For the next thousand years,
I’ll only choose you
I never wanted it to end
I never wanted to lose you.

Where do people bury their happiness when it dies?

I go low
The pain goes high
Where do people bury
their happiness when it dies?
They say time will change it all
But that’s just a hopeful lie
Better days never arrive
And the tears never dry
I begged love to stay
But it kissed me and said goodbye
I wish like beautiful butterflies
I could spread my wings and fly
But it feels like my wings have been torn off
And I’m falling harshly from the sky
Sometimes I feel likes it’s all in my head
That I imagine these nightmares for myself
And I feel terrified even after opening my eyes
Fighting invisible wars someplace else
Carrying storms in my chest
My heart searches for serenity
But my emotions strike like lightning, wrecking havoc
In ashes lay my ecstasy
And I fall far into a black void
Darkness fuelling my insanity
To live every breath and die is greatness
But to die and never live is life’s greatest tragedy
And that’s my reality.

Nobody likes to be lonely.

Hearts cry if you listen closely,
nobody likes to be lonely

To sit at home, all alone
No text, no call, throw away your phone
No one to call a lover, to call your own
No one to make you feel at home

Hearts cry if you listen closely,
nobody likes to be lonely

Like a lost comet, roaming in galaxy
Head in the clouds like there’s no gravity
No one to pull you down and away from insanity
To save you from becoming a Shakespearean tragedy

Hearts cry if you listen closely,
nobody likes to be lonely.

Nameless graves.

I lose myself sometimes
Doesn’t mean I’ve disappeared
But even if I fade away someday
Would the world really care?
Everyone’s so unaware
of each others feelings
Eyes judge eyes, more than
hands provide healing
Seems like there’s wormholes in hearts
And it’s our goodness it’s stealing
Like shooting stars we all fall
No purpose, no meaning
Just little bright lights in the night sky
Laying asleep and dreaming
Living in our own glass castles
Stories full of heartbreaks and hassles
Screams making the windows rattle
Broken glass on the floor as the castle shatters
And we all shatter along
Coldness takes upon the warmth
Beautiful skies turn into dark storms
The clouds shed rains, our eyes shed tears
And we lay on the ground, drowning
in desperation and deadly fears
Waiting for Gods and Angels to save us
But I guess even the creator despises it’s creations
We dance like puppets and work like slaves
Humanity has been buried under nameless graves.

Fading away.

I keep falling like my teardrops
Days turn into nights but the tears don’t stop
Happiness in the clouds but I’m really low
Feeling cold like I’m stuck inside a snow globe
Wanna hit the road and never go home
I’m tired of this colourless palace
where just hurtful thoughts roam
I walk through storms, broken and restless
Waiting for suffering to end, but it seems endless
Dangerously self destructive and I go reckless
Hiding my breaking soul, smile masked by pretence
I often question myself
Will my life ever make any sense?
Is it the world that’s broken or
do I watch the world through a broken lens?
I laugh when I realise, sadness stayed longer
Than most of my school friends
Me and ecstasy are like parallel lines
Separately together, never meeting at the end
Within the four rooms of my wall,
I slowly blend and disappear
Like the shadows which merge into the dark,
I fade away like I was never here.

Quest.

My thoughts don’t make sense
Tell me how am I supposed to break the suspense
and answer honestly to the people
who wanna know how I am
I don’t know how I am, I don’t know who I am
That’s what I’m trying to find out
Through a paper and a pen
Lies whisper lies, trying to gain my trust
only to stab me in the back like a toxic friend
Apocalypse in my nature, all I do is imagine the end
To everything that has ever been
To everything my eyes have ever seen
I feel like I matured too early
Seeing the true darkness of hearts
The world’s lacking authenticity
All everyone does is falsely pretend to be authentic
Destroying their identity in process
Something they’ll never admit
Their persona and promises just a counterfeit
All they do is try to fit in,
In a hollow box like a scared kitten
And I feel like I’ve been forcibly bitten
By this venomous snake named society, I sickened
Dark waters pulling me under, I’m sinking
I can feel my hopes shrinking
I don’t like being this negative
But I’m a product of disastrous thinking
I don’t wanna live a lie, I wanna live a life
I wanna focus on goodwill
and leave my cynical side aside.
I’m in search for a treasure
No gold coins, no jewels, no pleasure
My journey is a quest to discover
Generosity and benevolence
Which I believe has somewhat suppressed
Under the weight of life’s wickedness
That heavy burden is what I want to uplift
Creating a better world and a better myself.