I just feel sometimes what a wonder imagination is. It’s like wandering around the world without ever lifting your feet. I imagine a lot of things. A town full of rainbows where the sky never gets dark. I imagine conversations with people and how easy it is to talk to them in my head. In my imagination, I’m a heartfelt poet who is addicted to words and cigarettes. In my imagination, I can even play the piano and make melancholic tunes that matches my heartbeat. In my imagination, I’m a lover and there’s a girl who loves me. She plays with my hair while I lay my head on her lap and she reads me poetry.
There’s something both joyful and heartbreaking about imagination. Joyful because it takes you to a place where wonders happen. A place you wanna escape to.
And heartbreaking because you know it’s not true. It’s a world of fiction. In the end all you get is your own reality and no matter how awful it gets, you have to live in it.
But that mystical door is still there and the golden key is in your hand. If you ever feel like you’re breaking apart and reality is grabbing you with it’s jaws. Just close your eyes and, for a few moments, live happily in a world of your imagination.
Just like rainwater seeps in through the wall cracks, sadness enters uninvited. Invading the space where joy once laughed. Now it’s been replaced with an emptiness so vivid that you can see through the void. And that void howls at midnight and when you look at the mirror you see, that void exists where your heart use to be.
A black diary under my pillow It knows all my dreadful secrets The pages hold my weightless soul My thoughts are my strongest weakness I’ve buried my feelings below the surface Their eyes only see a creation of pretence A mannequin amidst a plastic world A shielded lonely existence Like a caterpillar in a cocoon Protecting itself while it grows But there comes harsh monsoons And the little life drowns and goes Before it could ever breathe as a butterfly The moment we learn to live, we begin to die Preachers pray so that they go to heaven Little do they know, we’re already in hell I broke my own heart, a melancholic crime I’m already locked up in my mind’s prison cell We just believe we’re free but we’re born with chains It’s madness in the air and it enters our veins The world’s an incurable rotten place And it devours us, until nothing remains Nothing but a hollow shell broken with a touch An ocean of darkness will befall upon us The day the sun’s warmth is finally gone That day we’ll all go into a deep sleep like the light of an unrisen dawn.
I find it so easy to lose myself. To slip in and out of existence. I watch a lot of movies. Too engrossed in the stories emerging before my eyes. My eyes which were dull, they see this window portraying life I’ve so long craved. I read a lot of books. Words full of meaning, chapters full of mysteries and emotions. I see myself as the characters. I think what they think, I feel what they feel. It’s so easy to lose myself in the world of fiction. I often wonder why. Maybe I don’t like my reality. Maybe what I want is to live as those characters. They’re so alive, so free. My mind wanders in ecstasy, yet my soul feels trapped in agony. When fantasy is too irresistible, is it ever possible to go back to reality? The stories are all stored in my heart. Through them I see my black and white world finally in colours. I can’t resist myself from following the rabbit. From going down the rabbit hole. To enter a new Wonderland. I don’t fear that euphoric fall, I embrace it. What I fear is that, once I reach the abyss of fabrication, I will no longer be a part of this world I see before my eyes. And maybe, deep down in my heart, that’s exactly what I crave
Some people are born invisible. They walk the streets, unnoticed, unheard, unseen. To the world they’re like clouds, just passing and roaming over their heads. They become lost. Lost in a hidden realm. Lost and never found.
Some people break their own hearts. Just like they break the mirrors in their house to avoid looking at themselves. They can’t even bear to see their own shadows. They become their own worst enemies. Cause that’s all the world taught them. They were hated so much that they started hating themselves.
Some people crave love. Beg for it. Die for it. But never get it. Never reach it. Love abandons them. Loneliness becomes their only beloved. It kisses their lips, enters their breath, spread across their veins and kills them slowly.
Some people die before death. Their feelings fade away like dust. The light in their eyes diminish. Their heart beats so lightly that it’s almost silent. They don’t want anything, they don’t love anything, they don’t hate anything. They just exist, like a lifeless statue.
Everybody needs somebody sometimes. No matter how strong you are physically or emotionally, a shoulder to keep your head on always feels like heaven. A hand to hold on to, always makes you feel loved. Ears to listen to your trembling voice. Eyes to see your damaged parts. A heart which understands your heartache and shares your sorrows. Someone who walks beside you so that you don’t have to walk down the path full of thorns alone. No matter how afraid you are to allow someone to see you honestly, you have to let your walls down for them. Cause the truth is, everybody needs somebody sometimes.
I’m a kite with a broken string floating around in rain and haze crashing into street lights and tree branches torn from every edge, left in the jarring storm alone and misplaced by the heartless lovers who’ll be swift to replace my place And like depleted memories I’ll break ties with existence, soon faded and erased.
Sometimes it’s difficult to explain
What’s going on in your head
Sometimes it just feels better
To take the day off and lay on your bed
Cause some days you’re so mentally exhausted
From everything that’s going inside you
And everything that surrounds you
That you just need a break to relax yourself
And I believe that’s perfectly fine
To give yourself some time, without feeling
guilty cause it’s not a crime
I understand you had a meeting or a party night
But it can be avoided, right?
Sometimes you just need to be alone
Turn off the lights and switch off your phone
Throwing away all the worries and problems
When you’re mentally ready you’ll
automatically solve them
Yes, human beings need to recharge as well
You gotta take care of yourself
And do the things that you like to do
Like sitting in a quiet room, reading your favourite book
Or eating ice cream while watching a comedy show
Letting your happiness grow
Always remember, you’re important as well
It’s good to take rest when you’ve been running for a while
It’s a wonderful thing to make others happy
But my friend, don’t forget to make yourself smile.